Almost to the complete end of TOTAL childhood... or lack thereof

It is finally here...

I am now officially a senior, my childhood is almost finished...
I am happy yet sad because of that matter though...

You see, I don't remember all of my childhood, but the things I DO remember, were good for the most part, but, that is not why I am sad...
Childhood, gives you the complete leeway of being "childish", but my thing is having fun.
I am not entirely ready to be an adult, with their boring rules, organizations, and seriousness.... too many obligations for my taste.
Maybe this is the reason I love theatre so much... I can act like a child, act like an adult, dress up, and put on crazy make-up whenever I want to and no one can say I am acting too childish...
I am just like my mother in this aspect...
I don't think she ever learned to grow-up...

WE are the kind of people who are ALWAYS looking for something; looking for another meaning within a meaning, looking for another someone to help or to love (not be IN LOVE with), looking for someone to play around with, to laugh with, or even to cry with...
We never want to be alone, but yet when we are in a room with a million people, that is when we feel the loneliest.
We will cry just to let all kinds of feelings out at once...

That is my life, my childhood, and will probably be my adulthood...
I don't want to grow up in fear that I might run into my biggest fears like commitment and obligations
OR, maybe I don't want to grow up in fear of living day to day waiting for another place, another chance, or another day...

To all readers: Be who you want to be, and don't let ANYONE pull you down... because if you let them, it will just slow you down until you realize you need to get back up on your feet and go...